"I'll start after the holidays." "After the kids go back to school." "After we move." "After the baby."
If you're a mom, you've probably said one of these. Maybe all of them. And it makes sense: when a big change is coming, starting something new feels pointless.
But after years of coaching moms, here's what I've noticed: the calm season you're waiting for almost never arrives. Toddlers turn into kids with homework, and kids turn into teens with sports, late nights, and bigger emotional needs. Life doesn't slow down. It just changes shape.
So instead of waiting for the perfect window, let's talk about how to keep moving through the season you're actually in.
The "limbo" trap
Limbo is the mental holding pattern you slip into when change is on the horizon. It sounds like:
"What's the point? It's all about to change anyway."
"I won't be able to keep it up, so why start?"
"I'll be more consistent once things settle."
Limbo feels responsible, even protective. If you never fully commit, you can't be disappointed.
But it hands your choices over to your circumstances. And the longer you wait, the more you start to see yourself as "the person who's waiting," which makes starting even harder later.
Your thoughts become your identity
Think of someone in your neighborhood who runs every day. On a rough day, they probably still lace up, because running is part of who they are. They didn't start out that way. They became a runner by running, again and again, until it was simply what they do.
The same thing works in reverse. Repeat "I'm in a holding pattern" often enough, and that becomes your identity too.
4 ways to keep going during a life transition
1. Shrink the goal, don't drop it
If a big change is coming, you might not be able to do everything you were doing. That's okay. Swap "lose 20 pounds by spring" for "eat a real lunch instead of grazing on the kids' snacks." A smaller goal you keep beats a big goal on pause.
HOT TIP: The goal should have the same payoff. Why did you want to lose 20 lbs by spring? What feeling or experience would that give you… what smaller goal could ALSO move you in THAT direction>
2. Focus on what you can do this week
You don't know exactly when the change will happen or what it will look like. You do know what this week looks like. Plan for the week in front of you, not the hypothetical future.
3. Turn chores into choices
The workout, the walk, the water, the vegetables at dinner: they'll be there either way. You can see them as burdens you have to carry for the next 40 years, or as things you get to do because your body is capable of them. Same actions, very different mood. And a better mood shows up everywhere, including how you parent and how you feel in your relationships.
HOT TIP: Record the evidence. Start noticing how you feel after “chores” when you choose to have a brighter attitude going into it…
4. Watch what you feed your brain
Who are you following? What are you listening to? If the voices around you treat certain seasons as a write-off, you'll start believing it too. Look for people who keep moving through hard seasons, and let them become your mental environment. Surround yourself with people who want a bigger future like you do.
Try the 30-day identity challenge
One of my clients, a mom of two who was about to go through a big life change, tried this, and within a few days she told me she felt more positive, more motivated, and more mindful with her eating. Nothing about her schedule changed. Her mindset did.
Here's how to do it:
Picture yourself six months from now. Not just your body: who is she? How does she make decisions? How does she treat herself?
Write down three traits. For example: makes intentional food choices, moves her body most days, considers her own needs alongside her family's.
Commit to showing up as her for 30 days. Not perfectly, just on purpose.
When the "wait" thought shows up, ask: “what if I did it anyway?”
Check in at the end of the month. What changed? What did you learn about yourself?
The bottom line
Weight loss for moms doesn't happen in some future imaginary season. It happens in the middle of real life, with all its interruptions. You don't need life to calm down. You need to decide that what happens next is a choice, not a chore.
Listen to the full episode: "Is it even worth starting before the holidays?" Listen here
Want help building habits that hold up through the holidays and every season after?
DM me START on Instagram @eatmorewithjulia to learn about Shift to Shed private coaching.
